H3H3H3H3H3

daveapocalypse:

egderpapocalypse:

The device beeps again as you’re raiding the kitchen. The timing is ideal. You hadn’t planned on leaving until Dave replied, because where would you go?

i’m very sorry that i don’t know what you’re talking about, but i will try to cotton on as fast as i can! and i will also try to hang tight?

You aren’t exactly sure what that means, but if someone is coming to pick you up, it likely means that you should stay where you are. And how had he known you were using a hammer? That little tidbit was actually slightly alarming. You look around you, trying to figure out if maybe he’s watching you somehow.

Zombies. That…made sense. You roll the word around in your mouth, feeling yourself shudder, but it’s not completely in fear. Your sledgehammer is a comforting weight in your hand, and it’s been a long time since you were able to unleash your strength upon something that could take it.

Or rather, couldn’t take it. But that was the point, really.

i will await further information from you, and i will try to stay in the area and gather supplies. but you can’t expect me to keep completely out of harm’s way. i think, by traveling here however i did, that i have been placed right in its path.

Cotton on? Well, okay. It wasn’t as though you weren’t used to sometimes failing to completely understand your best bro. Or time paradox best bro who couldn’t remember you were supposed to be best bros. Whatever.

TG: i mean yeah thats what i meant dont go looking for trouble but obviously dont just freeze up like an idiot while zombies chew your limbs off man

TG: that would be stupid and id be a little embarrassed to have known you before you became zombie chow

TG: yeah egbert???

TG: we were friends but then he decided to stand there like a tool while he became a buffet on two legs for a bunch of undead

TG: and yes

TG: he had a weapon

You carelessly toss aside a box of suspicious candies that look as though they expired years ago in favor of making more room in your shopping cart for several jars of peanut butter. What with your healthy food selection and your quaint little shopping cart, you feel just like a soccer mom. Hop in the car kiddos, we’re going on a road trip. Bro would be so proud.

At the thought of your still-missing older brother, you frown a little. No use worrying about that when there was real shit to be focused on. Like lil’ Bro and Lalonda who’d gone on ahead, but had been nice enough to leave the car behind. How nice.

But hell, that gave you some freedom to take your time getting to Virginia if you needed, right?

TG: you know what man i havent heard from the two island natives in a while so either they got eaten or have become otherwise preoccupied with whatever it is gun toting weirdos do so

TG: how do you feel about meeting me and tz halfway or something

TG: like in good old nebraska

TG: can i trust you to take care of yourself or should i book it all the way up there or what

TG: how helpless are you dont worry i wont judge just be honest with me

While you wait for John to respond, you set out deeper into the massive store to hunt down your grey-skinned companion. Who the hell knows what she’s up to right now. She could’ve eaten half the candy aisle by now. Shit, or what if she found the art supplies for ages three and up? You could only imagine what would happen when that alien girl finally met some cheap Crayola products in person.

Wax. Wax everywhere. It would be something poor Costco employees would talk about for years to come, something that would only be referred to in hushed tones as “The Incident”, which would inevitably send dozens into tears at the memory.

You know, if there were anyone left to see it.

“Hey, Tz, where the hell are you? We need to make an extra trip before we head out to meet the others now. But don’t worry, it’s really on the way. Super convenient and not at all a totally inevitable waste of supplies,” you call, mostly talking to yourself as you wander down the deserted aisles.

You’re starting to get a little antsy, not that you’d admit it. But you think there’s seriously something outside the building, and given how deserted the roads have been, you know there’s only one thing it could be.

Unfortunately for Dave, Terezi had found the craft aisle long ago. She didn’t need food. Only chalk. And Skittles. This was obviously part of a balanced diet and no one should really question her, because stopping her would honestly just be a bad idea. In the meantime, she’d also managed to acquire quite a few new outfits, the majority louder than a gunshot. 

Hearing Dave’s voice down one of the halls, she popped her head out from the middle of a display where she had been busy sorting all the red chalk from the rest of the boxes. Grinning, she shrugged a new backpack over her shoulder, and clambered her way out.

“OV3R H3R3, D4V3!” She bounded down towards the end of the hall, moving to the sound of his voice.

(via daveapocalypse-deactivated20120)